C'est La Vie
by Gladewing
Summary: What happens when you realize you're in love with someone that you can't be in love with for many, many reasons? Well, young kitten, c'est la vie. That's life. Spoilers for Dark River. Takes place after DR.
1. Chapter 1

The Gathering was full of cats. Jaypaw had never quite gotten over the attack of mingled scents that always assaulted him at the full moon Gatherings; it made him nervous, made him feel unprotected and defenseless. But he held his head high where he sat alone in the back of the crowd.

It always made him remorseful when his brother and sister insisted on sitting with him, so tonight he had slipped away from them, carefully mingling to get to the back. But now it seemed some cat was coming towards him. He opened his jaws ever so slightly to let the scent rush over his glands, and from the smell of open air and grass he knew it was a WindClan cat, and a she-cat at that.

Jaypaw was generally amazing with scents, and it didn't take him long to place hers - it was Heatherpaw, the supposedly pretty she-cat who Lionpaw had recently rejected. He bristled slightly.

"Hi, Jaypaw," said Heatherpaw shyly. "It's been a while, huh?"

_No,_ thought Jaypaw none-too-kindly. He meowed, "Yes. How are those kits?"

"Oh. They're fine, fine," she meowed.

There was a pregnant silence, then Jaypaw meowed finally, "If you're looking for Lionpaw, I ditched him and Hollypaw somewhere back there." He waved his tail vaguely in the direction of ThunderClan scent.

"Oh, well, I...I don't think I should bother him," meowed Heatherpaw evasively.

"Is there something you wanted?"

He could feel a sudden wave of hurt from the WindClan apprentice at his brusque words, and he let out a delicate sigh.

"No, I just wanted to talk," she meowed quietly.

"Oh." Jaypaw flicked his tail impatiently. Did she want something important, or didn't she? He bit his tongue to keep from voicing the question.

He felt indecision roll off of Heatherpaw's pelt, then she meowed finally, "What's it like, being a medicine cat?" But, probing her mind, Jaypaw sensed that that was not what she wanted to talk about.

"It's just like being a warrior, only more boring," he said cautiously.

"It's no fun at all?"

"Why do you ask?" Jaypaw tried to frame the question carefully so he wouldn't hurt her feelings again. She-cats were so ridiculously fragile. "Why don't you ask Kestrelpaw?"

Thankfully, only confusion clouded her thoughts now, and a little smudge of anger. "I'm only trying to make conversation," she meowed defensively.

He blinked at her, waiting for her answer to his actual question.

"Well, it seems different for you," she said finally. "You seem like a really brave cat, being blind and all." She meowed this with determination in her voice.

"Well." Jaypaw didn't know how to reply to that. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." She sounded relieved.

"You know," said Jaypaw tentatively, "I _can_ see. Just with my other senses. I already knew you were female and a WindClan cat, and then I could tell you were Heatherpaw by your own distinctive scent and because of your voice."

"I bet you wish cats would understand that instead of treating you differently," meowed Heatherpaw quietly.

"Yes. I do wish that."

Before Heatherpaw could reply, a voice boomed, "This Gathering is ended!" and there was a flurry of motion. Jaypaw couldn't help it; he bristled away from the action speeding around him, and he felt Heatherpaw press against him.

"It's fine, they're all avoiding you," she whispered in his ear.

"I know that!" he snapped.

That didn't deter Heatherpaw's helpfulness. She gently pushed against his shoulder until he was facing another direction. "There's your Clan," she told him. "I'll see you next Gathering?"

"I - yeah," meowed Jaypaw, bewildered, unsure what he was agreeing to. But Heatherpaw was already gone, and Honeypaw and Poppypaw were bounding toward him to help him back home.


	2. Chapter 2

Jaypaw probed lightly at Cinderpaw's stomach, gently moving his paw over her soft underbelly until she cried out angrily, "_Ow_, Jaypaw! Great StarClan!"

He snickered under his breath. "Does that hurt, then?"

"_Yes_, it hurts," she snapped.

"You just have bellyache. It'll pass on its own."

"You can't give me some sort of herb or berry?" Cinderpaw's face was a mask of horror, and her voice was despairing.

Jaypaw snorted. "You'll be fine. I can't just waste the Clan's material on you when we might need it for a worse case."

Cinderpaw sighed. "Okay," she agreed.

Jaypaw listened to her pawsteps as she left, then he let out a great sigh. He had settled into being a medicine cat, but contrary to popular belief, he still didn't like it. He was missing out on way more than he wanted to. He absolutely _hated_ the moments when some other apprentice brought in a juicy, fresh-caught mouse for him. Leafpool didn't mind it at all, which he didn't understand. Wouldn't she rather catch a mouse for herself?

But because he was blind, he didn't really have that option. It wasn't that he couldn't do it, but that they didn't want him to. Ever since that time when ill luck had had its way with him and he'd fallen off a cliff into the lake on WindClan territory, no cat had trusted him with his own pawsteps.

"Ridiculous!" he said aloud.

"What is?"

Jaypaw almost jumped out of his skin. As it was he leapt into the air and whirled, every hair on his pelt bristling furiously until he caught Poppypaw's scent. But he didn't relax then, hissing angrily at her for scaring him.

"I'm sorry," meowed Poppypaw quickly, "I didn't mean to frighten you."

Jaypaw snorted derisively.

"But Berrypaw, Hazelpaw, and Mousepaw are having their warrior ceremony..." Poppypaw ventured.

Jaypaw let out a low growl. If he wasn't expected to be present at these things he wouldn't go. Why would he want to see other cats made warriors and apprentices if he didn't have the option?

"Are you coming?" asked Poppypaw.

"Yes, I'm coming," snapped Jaypaw gruffly, and he even stormed past her, coming to a stop as far from the Highledge as he could get. Poppypaw settled down beside him, her emotions tentative.

"Cats of ThunderClan!" Firestar's voice was strong even as he aged. "It is time for three apprentices to become warriors, in my opinion. Brambleclaw, Dustpelt, and Spiderleg, do you agree?"

Brambleclaw and Spiderleg, determined to outdo one another, meowed instantaneously, "Of course!"

Dustpelt said more calmly, "Yes, I do."

"And do you, Berrypaw, Hazelpaw, and Mousepaw, agree to uphold the warrior code and to defend your Clan, even with your life?"

Jaypaw heard their simultaneous excited "I do's", Berrypaw's the loudest.

"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior names. Berrypaw, you will be known as Berrynose. Hazelpaw, you will be known as Hazelcloud; and Mousepaw, you will be known as Mouseclaw. May StarClan light your paths as we welcome you as full warriors of ThunderClan."

Jaypaw didn't join the cats as they cheered the new warriors' names. If he was being honest with himself, he really didn't care. It only made him feel inferior, and that was a feeling he hated.

That was when he remembered words that had been spoken to him only last night:

"_You seem like a really brave cat, being blind and all._"

If only others would see that! thought Jaypaw furiously. I'd prove it to them if I could!

And that was when he started wondering just _how_ he could...

**_Quote of the Moment:_**

**Stan Shunpike: **What you doin' down there?  
**Harry:** I fell over.  
**Stan Shunpike: **What you fell over for?  
**Harry:** I didn't do it on purpose.


	3. Chapter 3

Jaypaw woke, startled by a strange noise, like pawsteps just beside his ear. With a jolt he realized that he could see. The landscape around him was green and rolling, a meadow with small white flowers. The tips of the blades of grass were touched silver by a moon that was just less than full.

He was dreaming.

He snorted. _Got your hopes up, didn't you?_ he told himself. _You can see! ..Yeah, right. StarClan doesn't have enough power to do that_.

"You really shouldn't be so cynical about StarClan's abilities," meowed a voice gruffly, and Jaypaw looked up sharply. It was Yellowfang, to his annoyance. Couldn't the old fool just leave him and his dreams alone?

"What do you want?" he growled.

"Do you _know_ all of StarClan's powers?" continued Yellowfang as if he had not spoken. "Do you know what we could do to you?"

"No, I don't, but I know that you won't do anything," challenged Jaypaw. "You're not supposed to _interfere_," he mocked her.

A look of anger briefly crossed Yellowfang's face, but disappeared just as quickly as it had come. "You pay attention."

"I always do," snapped Jaypaw.

"That's a lie," snorted Yellowfang. "You, pay attention? I think not."

"What are you talking about, you old long-tooth?" Jaypaw was on his paws now, bristling with anger. Why did StarClan cats always beat around the bush about things? Why couldn't they just come out and say it?

"Why, why, why," mocked Yellowfang as if she'd heard. "It's always 'why' with you, isn't it? Why this, why that, why does the world hate me."

Jaypaw's skin burned with embarrassment. "That's not how it is."

"Of course it is," Yellowfang meowed pleasantly. "Jaypaw, you have not lived a twelvemoon, not many twelvemoons as I have. You have not experienced The Moon of No Boundaries."

"What is that?" hissed Jaypaw cautiously.

"It comes next moon," replied Yellowfang. "It is the moon each twelvemoon when no boundaries exist between the Clans. It was a law set down between the leaders of the Clans at the daytime Gathering not too long ago, set in secret, to be announced soon. It is meant to briefly dissolve Clan boundaries and allow cats of all Clans to speak with one another on friendly terms."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"Oh, you'll see," purred Yellowfang. "It'll be funny when it happens, too."

Jaypaw narrowed his eyes and unsheathed his claws, though he wasn't going to attack the elderly old she-cat. "Get out of my dream," he hissed.

"Gladly," replied Yellowfang cheerily, and then she was gone.

-x-

When Jaypaw woke next, he really was awake, out of the dreamworld where he could see. But he hadn't forgotten Yellowfang's words about 'The Moon of No Boundaries'. He thought about asking Leafpool, who he could hear breathing relaxed in sleep, but then recalled that only the leaders knew about it. Except for him, of course.

Well, that made him feel a little powerful.

But now he was left to wonder why Yellowfang told him about this special moon. What did that have to do with him? It wasn't as if any cat would let him go into other Clans' territories anyway. After all, he was _blind_. He wouldn't be able to take care of himself there.

That filled him with a surge of anger and a sudden impatience for this so-called Moon of No Boundaries. That was when he would take his chance. He would show them all!

**Very very special purrs to Rainfeather's Hope for letting me use her "Moon of No Boundaries" idea!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Darren's Wings - I meant to answer you earlier! I apologize. Well, I do know that Berrynose's warrior name is correct (and might I say, WTF ERINS?) but I have no idea about Hazelpaw and Mousepaw. I can't wait to find out though!**

"Let all cats of ThunderClan gather beneath the Highledge for a Clan meeting!"

Jaypaw could sense the excited tremor in Firestar's voice, and as he padded out to join his Clanmates under the tallest ledge in the hollow, he wondered if the others could tell, too. Or maybe he was imagining it because he knew what this announcement would be about.

Lionpaw came to sit beside him, and suddenly Jaypaw felt a shiver of - what? He should know his own feelings, but the only name - and it didn't make any sense - that he had for this one was _guilt_.

"Hey," whispered Lionpaw, "what's got Firestar all tense?"

Jaypaw furrowed his brow and concentrated. Yes. He had mistaken Firestar's tension for excitement.

"I have no idea," he said honestly. Why should Firestar be tense?

"I have a very important announcement to make today," Firestar yowled when every cat was gathered around him. "I'm sure you all remember the daytime Gathering a few moons ago in which the Clans gathered to help relieve certain tensions with friendly competition."

There were murmurs of consent. Jaypaw flicked his ear. He'd certainly been right about the subject of this little meeting.

"Well, during that 'Gathering', the three other leaders and I formulated a plan to more consistently relieve those tensions," continued Firestar. "If it works this time, it will happen again, and possibly more often."

Jaypaw narrowed his sightless eyes.

"We have decided, for this moon only, to declare a 'Moon of No Boundaries'. In this moon, a cat may venture wherever he or she pleases. It is important for cats to keep friendships across the borders. For this moon only, they may do so more easily with the dissolving of the boundaries."

An uproar rose from the Clan, most of it joyous. Jaypaw rocked back on his haunches. He still didn't see how this affected him.

"Wow!" whispered Lionpaw. "That means I can see Heatherpaw!"

Jaypaw felt that strange emotion again, and shook himself. "Be careful," he warned Lionpaw without knowing why.

He felt Lionpaw's confusion. "Why? It's allowed this moon! This will be great!"

Jaypaw twitched the tip of his tail in annoyance. "Be careful anyway."

"Ooookay," said Lionpaw, drawing out the word into a doubtful string of letters. "Whatever you say, brother."

Jaypaw snorted and got up, striding away from his brother, filled with a burning feeling in his chest that he couldn't name. The pads of his paws pricked as he walked.

"Jaypaw! Where are you going?" asked a voice excitedly. Jaypaw let out a quiet hiss as his sister caught up with him, purring in a friendly way. "First, I mean. Since we're allowed anywhere."

"What? What's the point? Nobody in any other Clans like me," snapped Jaypaw.

"Oh, that's not true. Hey! Why don't you try and make friends with Willlowpaw? I've already checked with Brackenfur and he says I can go to RiverClan, no problem. Why don't you come with me?" asked Hollypaw excitedly.

Jaypaw tried to put ice in his voice, and found it wasn't difficult. "Look, Hollypaw, I don't _want_ to make friends with Willowpaw. She hates me anyway."

"But - "

"Just go, Hollypaw," he meowed coldly.

He felt her hurt and confusion, and his heart twisted a little, but he only listened to her pawsteps as she ran away from him in the direction of RiverClan. As for himself, as long as he went carefully, he could go anywhere he pleased. He allowed himself a moment of eager excitement. Finally, he was free! He could go wherever he wanted - _away_ from every cat that always made him feel inferior.

And so he went, though he had absolutely no idea where.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**Okay, yeah, I want longer chapters, too. So here's one. And yes, the Moon of No Boundaries will be full of crack and maybe a little slash (just a warning and it won't be explicit). And here's a shout-out to my homie Purple-Arsenic, whose Need A Crack Pairing? story is most likely going to help me a LOT here.**

**Note: If there's a crack pair you want me to stick in here, go ahead and request it, I'll fit it in if I can. **

It wasn't long, as Jaypaw walked sullenly along, that he caught the rank stench of ShadowClan on the air. He flinched, and he almost turned to run as he realized he was in ShadowClan territory, but then he remembered - it was the Moon of No Boundaries.

Which didn't make any sense! Wasn't the point of Clans to separate cats? _I thought this sort of thing was for Gatherings_, he thought somberly.

Suddenly, a powerful rush of ShadowClan scent assaulted his scent glands. He fell still. Had Blackstar told his Clan about this moon yet, or was he still considered a trespasser?

"Jaypaw?" The voice sounded authoritative, but not angry. Jaypaw flicked an ear; he didn't recognize the scent or voice of the speaker.

"Who are you?" he asked warily.

"I'm Oakfur," explained the rough voice. "You are Jaypaw, aren't you? Tawnypelt's nephew?"

Jaypaw hardly ever thought of himself as the nephew of a ShadowClan cat, but he nodded anyway. It _was_ the truth, after all.

"Where are your brother and sister?" Oakfur sounded almost concerned.

Jaypaw couldn't help but bristle at Oakfur's worried tone. "I don't need them every step of the way, you know."

A rustle of fur; Oakfur had tilted his head, and Jaypaw could feel mild concern emanating from the ShadowClan warrior's pelt. "Were you heading to the ShadowClan camp?"

"No. I was just walking."

"Oh. Okay." Oakfur was obviously relieved. _I'm not doing a one-cat invasion here,_ thought Jaypaw irritably. Oakfur continued, "I was heading into ThunderClan territory, actually."

Jaypaw had to fight to control his immediate territorial reaction. Oakfur was _allowed_ entry this moon, was _allowed_ to hunt if he wanted to.

"Okay," meowed Jaypaw uncaringly. "Who do you want to see in my territory?"

Oakfur immediately bristled. "I'm just walking!"

Jaypaw rolled his eyes at the ShadowClan cat's defensive tone. "So was I."

Oakfur seemed to relax, his anger slipping from his fur like water from a RiverClan warrior's pelt. "Sorry. This whole moon is just strange."

Jaypaw shrugged.

"I was going to see Whitewing."

"Ah." Jaypaw fixed Oakfur with a blind stare, pinpointing his spot by the emotions he felt rolling from Oakfur and the scent of ShadowClan.

"I'll just...go then," meowed Oakfur quickly, obviously unnerved.

Jaypaw shrugged again. "Have fun. And do me a favor - don't send any cat after me. I'm getting tired of you cats' worry."

"Okay," said Oakfur, and the ShadowClan warrior hurried away.

Jaypaw trudged along, hoping he wouldn't run into anyone else. He was simply tired of _talking_. He preferred to think by far. It took him into his own little world where he didn't _have_ to see to be accepted.

He felt he was growing closer to the lake by the salty, watery air that pressed against him. He felt his way along the marshy shore until he reached the unfamiliar wood that was the Halfbridge, or one of them.

The cool air brushed against his fur. He remembered that not too long ago he had been _in_ the lake, thrashing wildly for his life after rushing through a water-filled tunnel that threatened to drown him. He had reached the surface gasping, splashing his paws in a desperate attempt to stay afloat.

Then another memory bugged at him.

There had been a time, while he was trying to avoid drowning, that he and another cat had helped one another, kept each other afloat. And that other cat had been Heatherpaw.

He found himself wondering what she looked like. He had only ever seen what a few cats looked like, and that had been because he'd wandered in their dreams. Poppypaw and Willowpaw, for example, one a slim tortoiseshell and the other a small silver-gray she-cat. And then Leafpool, a light tabby with white paws and a white chest and amber eyes.

But he had never bothered to look into Hollypaw and Lionpaw's dreams, and he had never wanted to glimpse Heatherpaw's night wanderings.

Now he _did_.

And he didn't like the feeling. Not at all.

Jaypaw wasn't sure how long he sat there, gazing sightlessly out at the lake, lost in his own thoughts. He wondered where the cats of his Clan had went. He was pretty sure his parents, Stormfur, and Brook would go to WindClan and ShadowClan to see Crowfeather and Tawnypelt, but no one else had ever showed an interest in the other Clans; he didn't know how they would take this whole idea. Hollypaw would go see Willowpaw, and Lionpaw would go see...he'd go see...

"Fox dung!" Jaypaw swore. How did his thoughts keep leading back to that piece of fox dung!

His claws extended and dug angrily into the wood of the Halfbridge.

He didn't know how long it had been, but it felt like night when suddenly a startled voice called out, "Jaypaw?" and it was intensely and painfully familiar. He jumped almost out of his skin at the noise, and then he felt himself stumble, and his paw slipped. Had he really been that close to the edge?

"Jaypaw!" the voice shouted again, this time in alarm. "You're right at the edge!"

Jaypaw scrambled for a purchase on the slightly-wet wood, but he was already going over. He heard thunderous pawsteps as the cat rushed to save him, but his paws slid along the wood, and then he was in the water.

The choking, black water...


	6. Chapter 6

Jaypaw tried to suck in breath and only got salty water. Terrifying images flooded his mind of dying in this dark water, exactly as they had during the tunnel incident.

Then, suddenly, an image became branded on the inside of his eyelids - or maybe it was just his mind. But it was a beautiful mottled she-cat that he remembered quite clearly as Spottedleaf, the tortoiseshell medicine cat that had died long ago and never stopped looking after ThunderClan.

"Don't worry, little one," she purred. He gritted his teeth furiously. Why did she always have to talk down to him, even as he drowned? "It isn't your time yet. History has yet to include you."

"What?" Jaypaw tried to ask, but his voice came out as a bubble in the water.

Then a sharp claw suddenly snagged in his neck fur. _Saved_! Jaypaw fell limp in the dark water, knowing instinctively not to struggle, and three more paws came down to bring him to land. He was dragged onto the pebbly shore, gasping for air, water dribbling from between his jaws.

"Jaypaw!" cried a voice, and paws pumped on his chest, forcing him to spit out the salty lakewater he'd swallowed.

Coughing, he pushed himself to his paws and stumbled back. "What are you doing here?" he growled.

Hurt rushed from her like the water had rushed to fill his lungs. "I just saved your life," she hissed, stung.

"Jaypaw, don't be so rude."

Jaypaw started. He hadn't even sensed Lionpaw there, but of course she'd be with _him_. How stupid could he get?

He narrowed his eyes in the general direction of his brother. "Whatever." He shook himself, spraying droplets of water from his fur.

"Watch out," snapped Heatherpaw, and he heard her step back away from the spray.

"Were you guys stalking me or something?" Jaypaw growled accusingly.

"No! We were just walking!" But Jaypaw felt Heatherpaw's burning embarrassment and resentment. Had he guessed rightly? But no, Lionpaw wouldn't just follow him...would he?

"Well," hissed Jaypaw. "Fine then." He shook himself again and began to walk back in the opposite direction.

"Wait," Heatherpaw meowed softly.

He heard a _whoosh_ of air as Lionpaw whipped his head around to stare incredulously at Heatherpaw. "Just let him go," his brother growled. "He's just going to be bitter anyway."

Jaypaw whirled, bristling. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, it's true, isn't it?" Lionpaw hissed. "You just can't _stand_ having others do something for you, even if it saves your life!"

"What are you saying?" Jaypaw couldn't dredge up anything better than that.

"Lionpaw, stop," said Heatherpaw quietly.

"No. You know what, Jaypaw?" Lionpaw took a step forward. Instinctively, Jaypaw tensed. "You're just _bitter_. Because you're _blind_."

"Lionpaw!" snapped Heatherpaw, shocked.

Jaypaw had frozen, his blood running to ice. Then suddenly, there was a rush of fur, and Heatherpaw was by his side.

"That was cruel, Lionpaw," she snarled.

Lionpaw was shocked. "Heatherpaw! He was rude to you to begin with!"

"So?" meowed Heatherpaw. "We just startled him."

_Why are you defending me?_ thought Jaypaw in wonder.

Then Lionpaw seemed to deflate like a pricked berry. "I'm sorry, Jaypaw," he said quietly. "I really am. That was out of line."

For some reason this only infuriated Jaypaw more. "Don't lie," he hissed. "You meant it. I've just been a burden all my life, haven't I?"

"No!" cried Lionpaw.

"Jaypaw, don't," Heatherpaw begged him now. "Please. I don't want you two to fight."

"You know what?" Jaypaw snapped. "Sometimes, cats fight. And I think that was just what Lionpaw wanted." He paused, feeling their anxiety brush against him furiously. "I'm going back to camp. Why don't you just finish breaking all the rules?"

Heatherpaw made a soft noise of unhappiness as Jaypaw turned to stalk toward the ThunderClan border. _I see how it is,_ he thought, burning with resentment. _I see now, how it's always been._

**Hey, I'm sorry Lionpaw was kind of OOC. It was just necessary to make a good chapter!**


	7. Chapter 7

_Hey, I'm staying home today cause I'm sick (bleeeeh...I'm a vampire, vampires shouldn't get sick!) Haha...so anyway...you'll probably get either a few new chapters or the start of a new story._

_And oh yeah, "Marked" is getting deleted. I don't like it. I'm fickle like dat._

**Chapter 7**

Jaypaw strode on, his fur burning with embarrassment and resentment, his blind eyes blazing with fury. His paws scrabbled among the pebbly beach of the lake, though this time he was careful, so close to the water. He shivered with the cold that the breeze left chilling in his wet pelt.

"Jaypaw!" It was Heatherpaw's voice again. This time when he shivered, it wasn't from the cold. But whether it was from annoyance or something else, Jaypaw hadn't a clue.

He did, however, pause to wait for her, and felt her relief brush gently against his pelt. He turned his face toward her. "What do you want?" he asked, but he carefully kept the impatience from his voice. She had, after all, defended him a moment ago. So he kept his voice calm, maybe even a little gentle.

"I'm sorry I startled you. Back there, I mean," she meowed quickly. "You wouldn't have fallen in if it weren't for me."

"I was too close to the edge," Jaypaw muttered. She fell silent, and Jaypaw let out a soft sigh. "Where did Lionpaw go?"

"Back to your camp," she meowed tentatively.

He paused. _Wouldn't Lionpaw have passed me?_ Then he took in a deep breath and realized that he could smell RiverClan! _Great,_ he thought angrily. _I went the wrong way. How are you going to prove you can "see" without sight if you really can't?_

Heatherpaw cleared her throat. "You look tired."

"Almost drowning really takes it out of you."

She let out a quiet purr. "You need warmth, though. I'm no medicine cat but you're going to catch a chill like that."

Jaypaw paused. "Do you see any..." He stopped abruptly. He had been about to say _heather_, a soft flowery plant he could nestle in, but instead he meowed hurriedly, "Moss? Do you see any moss?"

She hesitated and he felt her looking around. "No. It's just pebbles right here."

"Well." Jaypaw sighed. "Let me rest for a minute." He slowly crouched down on the pebbles. _At least they're smooth and not poking into my belly,_ he thought wearily as he turned his head to roughly lick down the fur on his back. The air grew even cooler as evening began to set in.

He felt Heatherpaw's discomfort and looked up. "You can go home if you want," he meowed, struggling not to make it sound dismissive. "I'll be fine, if that's what you're worried about."

"Oh. Um." She huffed uncertainly. "I think I'll stay, if you don't mind."

Jaypaw shrugged.

"Um, so. I talk with Kestrelpaw sometimes -he's the WindClan medicine cat," she told him. _As if I didn't know_. "And he says that sometimes cold can make a cat go into shock, and he would use thyme if that happens. Are you...are you going into shock?" she finished lamely.

He snorted. "If I was going into shock I wouldn't be breathing all too well."

"Right. Are you - cold?" she asked him.

He shrugged, and then froze entirely as she crouched down and pressed her warm, dry body to his. Instinctively he relaxed against her warm fur and her hot, embarrassed skin.

"Thanks," he muttered.

"Yeah. Sure."

Jaypaw lay his head on his paws and didn't move as Heatherpaw began to gently groom bits of water plants from his fur. He let his eyes flutter closed, but fought with himself before he fell asleep. In the end, however, sleep overtook him, and he slipped into the familiar world of color that was his dreamland.

&&&

He stood in the same place as always - the beautiful green forest and verdant meadow, StarClan's hunting grounds. He remembered coming here to bring Poppypaw back from a young death and again sighed with relief that he'd succeeded.

But this time it wasn't Poppypaw's scent he called to him. It wasn't her tortoiseshell shape he wanted to see.

"Heatherpaw?" he said quietly, then he swore again. "Fox dung! Yellowfang, I know you're watching me. Tell me what's going on!"

And sure enough, the broad-faced gray she-cat stepped from the undergrowth, grinning mercilessly. "_Technically_," she meowed, "what's going on should _not_ be, but either way..."

"What are you talking about?" Jaypaw snapped.

Unexpectedly, Yellowfang's old face softened. "Just call her scent to you, Jaypaw. This is an experience you must learn from."

"Wait!" he yowled as she slowly faded from his view.

Her last words floated to him on the breeze: "I won't be watching."

Jaypaw blinked in confusion. _What does she mean? _he thought furiously, but slowly his thoughts strayed to what she had said. "_Just call her scent to you_." He definitely knew what she meant with that one.

"Heatherpaw," he called, breathing in deeply. And then, like a giant claw had wrapped itself around him and was yanking him forward, he got pulled into her dream.

Hers was somber and in tones of gray. She was the only splash of color on the rocky beach where she sat - exactly where she'd fallen asleep. She was a pale brown tabby with short silky fur and a slim figure. She jumped when he said her name again.

"Jaypaw? Aren't I dreaming?" She turned her head and he was startled by the beauty of her eyes. They were all the cool colors of the beginning of sunset.

"Yes, you're dreaming," he whispered.

"And you're here," she murmured. "That makes it a good dream. But I'm so confused, Jaypaw. What about Lionpaw?"

He started. "What about him?"

"Well, there's you. Then there's him."

Jaypaw blinked slowly. He had no idea what she meant. She sighed, obviously frustrated, and looked back over the glassy gray waters.

"I'm sorry if I'm confusing you," began Jaypaw tentatively.

"Sorry?" She snorted. "That's funny, coming from you." But her voice wasn't harsh or mean. It was gentle, and her laugh sounded like the call of a songbird.

He snorted back. "Well, fine then."

She laughed again, high and long. "Okay, fine then," she purred.

Jaypaw padded over to sit by her. "So, this Moon of No Boundaries thing. Weird, huh?"

She turned her pale gaze on him. "I wish you could see me, Jaypaw."

He blinked at her beautiful face, and said truthfully, "I wish I could, too."


	8. Chapter 8

_Hey, everyone! Bet you're ready for Chapter 8. Okay, then! Staying home sick __**again**__ - I hate this. I had a big test today too. And this might be the last day I could've seen the guy I have a ginormous crush on._

_But anyway. Okay, on my profile, click the link that says "Late Afternoon". Guess what? It's my Heatherpaw shrine! Please sift through it and tell me what you like/didn't like. I also need help with the Fan Soundtrack. Thanks! If any of you guys have any shrines, provide me with the link and I'll put it in my "Links" section!_

_Edit: Thanks, __**Cloudfire!**__ I put up "Cinderella" and "Incomplete". To me, "Stronger" didn't fit, and lyrics to "Inconsolable" wouldn't show up. Thanks again! You also got credit on the site._

_Edit: Also, check out the link right beneath "Late Afternoon", called "Unsung". This is my shrine dedicated to those 'unsung' pairings...you'll see. I've been working on it all day and it's very detailed, though incomplete. Please look!_

_&&&_

Jaypaw woke with a start and sighed sorrowfully when he found that everything was blackness again. He breathed in and smelled Heatherpaw; listening, he found that she was still breathing evenly in sleep. He padded to her and gently touched his nose to her ear, then drew back and trotted toward the scent of ShadowClan, which would ultimately lead to the scent of home.

He picked up the pace a little, confused and a little angry at himself. What was going on here, and what did it mean? _I should never have entered Heatherpaw's dream,_ he berated himself. _That was a bad idea. I don't know why but it was a bad idea._

Before long he could scent the warmth of the broadleaf forest, and gratefully he realized he was walking on leaf litter. _Home,_ he thought with relief.

"Jaypaw?"

Jaypaw let out a soft, almost inaudible sigh. So he wasn't to be alone with his thoughts after all. Worse, he recognized the voice and meowed harshly, "What do _you_ want?"

"I've been looking for you." Lionpaw stepped out from the undergrowth with a rustle of fur and leaves. "I wanted to apologize. For real. What I said was definitely not right, and not true."

"No, it's true," snapped Jaypaw bitterly.

"Jaypaw," Lionpaw pleaded. "I'm trying to say I'm sorry."

Jaypaw snorted. "Fine. You're forgiven."

Lionpaw must have known that was the best he was going to get, because he sighed with relief and stepped forward to brush muzzles with his brother. "Heatherpaw must be really angry with me to just leave me like that," he meowed sadly.

"Actually, she - " Jaypaw stopped. He had been about to tell Lionpaw _she didn't say anything about you_, but something told him that was a bad idea.

"What did you say?" asked Lionpaw curiously.

"She did leave," Jaypaw revised quickly. "Maybe she is mad."

Lionpaw sighed. "Yeah."

Jaypaw quickly changed the subject. "Is Hollypaw home?"

"Yeah, she brought Willowpaw and showed her around the camp, then Willowpaw left. I think Hollypaw's asleep," meowed Lionpaw thoughtfully.

_Thank StarClan,_ Jaypaw thought. _She can't ask me where I've been all day. She's such a nervous, nosy owl._ He began to pad forward, Lionpaw's thick fur brushing against his side as they went on together.

"You smell like Heatherpaw."

For half a second it sounded like an angry accusation, but then Jaypaw realized that Lionpaw's voice was wistful. He hurriedly changed his explanation to an irritable consolation: "All you have to do is apologize, y'know."

Lionpaw let out another sigh. _Get over it, already,_ Jaypaw snapped mentally.

But inside, he felt something tugging at his gut, and this time he knew clearly what it was: _guilt_.

&&&

_'Tis short...I apologize._


	9. Chapter 9

_I'm going to be honest with you guys._

_I have no idea where this story is going._

_With that said...ONWARD!_

&&&

Jaypaw woke with a start. His skin felt cold and clammy beneath his thick pelt, and his breathing was coming in quick gasps. He forced himself to calm down and listen for Leafpool; she was definitely asleep, so he padded outside, trying to make his breathing come more easily.

A light drizzle was falling outside, and the droplets clung to his fur until the rain had soaked him through completely. He shivered but sat down anyway, contemplating what he had just dreamed.

He had seen two verdant meadows, both almost exactly the same, except that one had blue flowers and the other had white. They were separated by a rushing river. Even as he had looked on, the river had dissolved until it was nothing but a dry riverbed. It seemed as though time sped up, and the grass from the meadows spread until it met and the riverbed was no more. At that point, white flowers started growing in the blue-flowered meadow, and vice versa.

It had all happened so fast, Jaypaw struggled to remember everything. He had the feeling that a voice had whispered something to him, but now it was nothing but a breeze in his ears. He couldn't remember for the life of him what had been said.

Jaypaw blinked rain from his eyes impatiently. _Why does the bad stuff always happen to me?_ he demanded of no one in particular.

At that moment, pebbles skittered down into the clearing. He started, his ears twitching for any more sounds. Again small rocks _thudded_ into the grassy hollow, and he heard a voice, all-too-familiar, hiss softly, "_Jaypaw!_"

Jaypaw cast his senses about casually; there was no cat nearby. So he dashed up the slope in a headlong rush and came to a stop outside the hollow. "What are you doing here?" he demanded in a quiet hiss.

Heatherpaw brushed her muzzle against his, for a bit longer than was necessary for a greeting. "I had the weirdest dream tonight," she told him excitedly.

"Why did you come to me?" asked Jaypaw warily.

She paused. "I don't know," she meowed honestly, and then proceeded to explain her dream to him. Even before she'd started, Jaypaw had known what she would say. She described the beautiful meadows with their flowers perfectly, the movement of the river as it dwindled to nothing...

"I had the same dream," Jaypaw whispered.

"What?" Heatherpaw cried, and quickly Jaypaw clamped his tail over her mouth.

"Not so loud!" he hissed, rapidly blinking water from his sightless eyes.

She waited until he had removed his tail, then whispered, "What do you think it means?"

"How should I know?" snapped Jaypaw.

"Because you're the medicine cat," she replied simply.

Well, it wasn't as if he could deny that. So he paused and thought about it yet again. "Well," he meowed hesitantly, "it seems like the two meadows became one meadow to me. But it was...beautiful. It didn't seem bad to me, but I woke with a cold sweat on my skin."

"So did I!" gasped Heatherpaw quietly. She huddled against Jaypaw's side and pressed her face against his neck. "You're warmer than I am!" she accused, purring.

Jaypaw fell still and swallowed. "Right," he meowed awkwardly. "Do you have any ideas?"

"Well, it must have been sent from StarClan," Heatherpaw reasoned without moving. "Otherwise we wouldn't both have had the same dream. Do you think the colors of the flowers meant anything?"

"They could." Jaypaw swallowed again and she shifted against him.

"Maybe we should talk about it when it's not raining."

"Okay," agreed Jaypaw quickly. _Anything to get away_, he thought, but then he wasn't all that sure it was what he wanted.

"How about tomorrow? On the halfbridge again?" Heatherpaw suggested.

Jaypaw nodded.

For a moment there was silence, then Heatherpaw moved to rub her nose gently against his cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow, then," she meowed, and then she was gone.


	10. Chapter 10

Jaypaw had thought that the halfbridge would be deserted when he got there, but to his surprise, he could smell Heatherpaw waiting for him already. _She must have left really early to get all the way around here from WindClan, _he thought. _It would have been more practical to meet on our border_.

He picked up the pace and heard her bursting, welcoming purr. "Hi, Jaypaw!" she called as he came to sit beside her. "Did you think of anything?"

Jaypaw shook his head. "I was too tired last night to think of anything. Did you?"

She made a soft noise of disappointment. "No. I mean, yes. I thought maybe the blue flowers meant RiverClan and the white meant...well, that's where I got stuck and figured the colors didn't..." She stopped, and Jaypaw suddenly felt shock roll from her pelt. "Hey! You said you had the same dream!"

Jaypaw lifted his brow and twitched an ear. "Yes."

"But that means you see! In your _dreams_!" she cried.

He nodded, slowly.

"And you came into my dream, didn't you?" she whispered. "Oh, Jaypaw!" She brushed her muzzle swiftly along his. "Dream with me. Please?" she murmured in his ear, and slowly he nodded, unsure what he was agreeing to.

He felt her lay down beside him, and slowly he crouched and pressed himself against her. More quickly than he had expected, her breathing evened out and she fell into sleep. He made his breathing match hers, and slowly he drifted into a pleasant dreamland. The same meadow of his dream the night before! But this time, Heatherpaw was there, looking around and calling, "Jaypaw? Are you here?"

"I'm here," he murmured, and she whipped around and pelted toward him. He flinched away from her zealous welcome, and she purred an apology.

"You really can see me, can't you?" she murmured.

He nodded, and then, impulsively, he meowed, "You're beautiful."

She paused, and then let out an explosive purr and wound all around him, her short pelt silk against his. "Oh, Jaypaw," she whispered. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he muttered.

All of a sudden, there was a low growl, rumbling around the entire meadow. Heatherpaw entwined her tail with his, hissing. Jaypaw looked around and noticed his vision dimming, edging closer to black. The growl sounded again, furious, pulling him toward wakefulness.

And with a start, Jaypaw was in reality again. In blackness. He felt himself pressed tightly to Heatherpaw's side. She let out a soft gasp as she woke.

Then Jaypaw smelled him.

It was Lionpaw.


	11. Chapter 11

"What's going on?" Lionpaw's voice was tinged with such an anger that Jaypaw pressed instinctively against Heatherpaw which was, actually, a bad idea. Lionpaw hissed and swiped at him, claws sheathed. Jaypaw heard the whistle of wind through the fur bunched between Lionpaw's paws; he ducked and Lionpaw barely clipped the top of his ear.

"Lionpaw!" Heatherpaw shouted. "Stop it!"

"No, Heatherpaw," hissed Jaypaw coldly. "I can take him."

"Don't be ridiculous! You're blind!" meowed Heatherpaw, for once up-front about Jaypaw's eyes. This time, however, Jaypaw ignored her.

"Come on, Lionpaw," he taunted, feeling invigorated. He had other senses he could use, and in his anger, his brother was clumsy. "Don't you just want to thrash me?"

Lionpaw swiped again, this time claws unsheathed, which made it even easier to detect. Jaypaw was shocked by his own ease as he heard the metallic whistle and dodged swiftly.

But then, suddenly, wind rushed through fur that was shorter and thinner than Lionpaw's. Heatherpaw had leapt past Jaypaw and landed hard on Lionpaw, pinning him to his side with her paws. Jaypaw barely heard the words that she spat through gritted teeth: "_You_ left _me_."

"But we can be together now..." Lionpaw trailed off feebly. He paused, and then meowed, so softly they whisked past Jaypaw's ears with only a wisp of a meaning, "I love you, Heatherpaw."

Jaypaw felt the hurt and shock radiate from Heatherpaw, but slowly it faded, to be replaced with anger. Very slowly, she growled, "I love _Jaypaw_."

Both Jaypaw and Lionpaw gasped.

Heatherpaw lifted her head and Jaypaw felt her hot gaze warm his pelt. "Jaypaw. I love you. Do you love me?" she asked quietly. There was no desperation in her voice. She was such a strong she-cat. Jaypaw knew that if he said no, he did not love her, then she would move on and probably find a mate in her own Clan. She would survive.

So he knew what he had to do.

"No," he whispered, his voice coming out a wisp. "No."

&&&

_Hey, guys! This story is almost over. I'm sorry I've been making my stories so short lately. I'm planning on a sequel for "Right Here Waiting", and I want to be able to focus on that and make it longer, so I'm making this one shorter! Sorry, again._

_Speaking of "Right Here Waiting", if you're one of the fans of that story and you want a sequel, start PMing me songs that you think I could base the story off of. I want it to go in the same style as Right Here Waiting. I have to think of a song to base it on and a character whose POV I can write from._

_  
Thanks, everyone! By the way, this story is going to end sadly, but sweetly. _


	12. Chapter 12

The gray tabby stood stoically on the very cliff overlooking WindClan that he had fallen from moons ago. His blue eyes gleamed sightlessly with some lost memory, some buried thought far behind them, coming to the surface to be seen again.

Wondering. Thinking.

Where was Lionclaw now? His brother had become a warrior with glory moons ago, alongside Hollyblaze. _But they're the golden children,_ thought the blind medicine cat bitterly. Oh, yes, now he had his so-called "warrior's" name, too--he was Jayfeather. But somehow it wasn't the same.

He remembered the deep coldness he had always felt toward others. The determination that one day, he would show them all. Prove them all wrong. Now he just felt hollow and empty at the thought.

It was one shining face that surfaced in his mind and lifted his heart, but in order to salvage a wrecked friendship, he had pushed that very cat away. In order to stay close to his brother, Jayfeather had pushed away the love of his life.

Now he knew how Lionclaw had felt. He'd explained everything, yes; he'd told Jayfeather about how he had had to choose between Heatherwind--then, Heatherpaw--and his Clan. He'd chosen his Clan. Jayfeather had chosen his brother.

It wasn't that he regretted choosing his brother. He just regretted that he couldn't have both.

_But I never could have both. I couldn't be blind and a warrior. I can't have some great power and share it with the world. It doesn't work that way._

He let out a soft meow, and the leaves all around him shifted and carried his voice through his fur, through his mind. Days had passed, and the Moon of No Boundaries had come to a close. But at its end, Jayfeather had experienced something truly spectacular. The boundaries between even StarClan and the other Clans had apparently been dissolved, for cats long considered dead had walked the earth during that very same Moon of No Boundaries. And the seed of an idea had planted itself in Jayfeather's mind.

Now it was the Moon of No Boundaries again, and Jayfeather waited. He waited, and shivered with the frost that beaded on his fur. But a deep warmth had spread through him as he made his decision.

And soon, that blessed voice, sounding more beautiful than all the voices of StarClan mingling into song...that voice meowed in astonishment, "Jayfeather?"

"Leave him be. He'll probably just walk off the cliff again and rid us all of something useless in this world," came Breezefoot's cold voice. Jayfeather's lips curled in a derisive smile. How wrong Breezefoot was. But it was the world's fault that they had shunned something so deceptively useful.

"Breezefoot," Heatherwind admonished. "Go back to camp. I need to speak with Jayfeather."

"But--"

"It isn't against the rules," Heatherwind cut him off. "It's the Moon of No Boundaries again, remember?" A low growl sounded from Breezefoot, and Heatherwind meowed, "Please, Breezefoot. This is necessary."

Minutes passed as Jayfeather heard Heatherpaw's delicate pawsteps. Soon the beautiful tabby was sitting beside him, and he could envision her smoky blue eyes gazing at him softly. A comfortable silence spread between them like billowing fog, until she meowed, very quietly, "Featherpaw and Bluepaw should get their warrior names soon."

"I wish I could see it happen," replied Jayfeather in a murmur. He _had_ seen them before, though. He had walked unseen in their dreams, desperate to see the kits of his beloved Heatherwind. The kits she'd had with Breezefoot. Featherpaw looked like Breezefoot, only a slightly lighter gray-black. Bluepaw looked like Heatherwind; she also had her mother's smoky eyes, but Featherpaw had Breezefoot's clear bright blue ones.

And one of those eyes was blind.

"I named her after you. After I found out your name," Heatherwind said, her voice choked with a sob. "Featherpaw."

Jayfeather said nothing. He was still searching for the words he knew he had to say, and while he did so, Heatherwind kept talking.

"Breezefoot didn't know that," she meowed. "And I didn't tell him. I said her eyes made me think of his father's, Crowfeather's...but it wasn't like that was true. Her eyes made me think of yours. You've never seen your eyes--or I don't think you have--but they're this beautiful clear blue, only a little pale because you're blind, and when I saw that Featherpaw was blind in one eye, I thought, _Oh, StarClan. Is this a sign or a punishment_? And then Featherkit turned to Featherpaw, and became Kestrelwing's apprentice, and I knew. I knew that even though you'd pushed me away, I still loved you. I love Breezefoot, but nothing like I love you."

"I'm sorry," Jayfeather meowed at long last.

"You're sorry?" Heatherwind's voice cracked.

"I'm sorry I didn't say it when I had the chance. I do love you, Heatherwind," he murmured. He felt her twine her tail with his, and his heart felt uplifted. Minutes passed, long minutes of comfortable love, and finally Jayfeather outlined his plan, the plan that had taken root in his mind ever since the last day of the Moon of No Boundaries when spirits walked the earth.

He felt her eyes burn into his pelt. Not a flea's worth of hesitation came from her mind as she meowed, "I will, Jayfeather."

Jayfeather paused. "You must consider, Heatherwind. Breezefoot may not need you, but Featherpaw and Bluepaw might."

"They might," she agreed. "I'll always be with them, with your help."

"Okay," Jayfeather whispered. "Okay."

They lay down together, and Jayfeather listened as her breathing slowed and evened, and then he matched his to hers. He stood in that ever familiar forest--StarClan's glade, and breathed in, calling for Heatherwind's scent. Soon, instead of walking in her dream, he had drawn her to him. He wound around her beautiful light tabby body and spent long moments gazing into her heather-colored eyes.

And then, on the horizon, appeared a beautiful tortoiseshell she-cat, her dark mottled fur smoldering in the hot red-and-violet light of the setting sun beyond her. Her pale eyes gleamed.

"Is this truly your decision?" Spottedleaf asked with sorrow, and yet pride, in her voice.

Both Jayfeather and Heatherwind nodded, and then they followed the tortoiseshell StarClan warrior to the edge of a cliff. Jayfeather remembered having brought Poppystep back from this very point, but not now.

"The pool," meowed Spottedleaf quietly. "You must leap."

"And then we will join you, to walk in StarClan with no boundaries between us, no matter what moon it is?" asked Heatherwind.

"So may it be."

Without hesitation, Heatherwind flung herself from the cliff, and Jayfeather leapt after her. They crashed painlessly into the water and then sunk. Jayfeather felt the starlit waves bead on his fur. He didn't breathe in water. He breathed in his mate's scent. He gazed lovingly into those ever-beautiful eyes. They continued to sink until they broke the surface on the other side, like the pool had turned upside down--StarClan's true hunting grounds, where no mortal cat could ever visit.

Cats lined the beautiful pool, all sparkling with starlit fur, and Jayfeather looked to Heatherwind to see that her fur sparkled with stars too. As did his.

"Welcome to StarClan," they meowed softly, their voices those of songbirds.

&&&

_And so it ends. What did you think of it? Okay, I know it was sad, but I was really, really proud of this chapter, so please don't tell me, "Ohmygawd I can't believe you killed them, you're so horrible, I loved them, why did you make them 'kill' themselves?" Okay, they didn't kill themselves. Think of it like Poppypaw's almost-death. She would have walked painlessly into StarClan. It's not the same as leaping from a tree and breaking your neck on purpose. So please tell me your real thoughts without all this omg-they-died-how-could-you shit. Thank you. _

_Oh, yes, the _name_ Heatherwind (c) Gladewing. Heatherwind is also one of my OCs, before I knew anything about Heatherpaw-the-she-cat, and I just decided to use his name for her warrior name._

_Thank you, all my ever-faithful reviewers! I can't list you all like I listed you for Right Here Waiting. There's too many of you! Thanks! And I'm sorry this thing was only like twelve chapters, I know that sucks. But I really like the way it ended and I hope you do too._

_Thanks again!_

_Mickey/Gladewing_


End file.
